Just Gettin' Back Into Your Workout: Determine Your Gym Body Type

Hopefully, you’ve never been there… The “Just Gettin’ Back Into It” just plain sucks. Although this is a temporary gym type, it is never a fun stage to be at. The JGBII (pronounced jig·bee) is the main reason corporate gyms are in business. The first of the year comes - the resolutions flow – and the JGBII joins up. Now this guy is someone who has spent some time in the gym before, unlike the Underdressed Chubbster, but has not seen the inside of a gym in quite a while. This behavior is usually apparent in the constant walking back and forth in the gym looking for a piece of equipment they used back in the day, but now can’t seem to find to save their life. Depending on their age, they are usually looking for a piece of equipment that no longer exists outside of thrift stores, or something that has been proven medically unsafe.

Once they find a suitable piece of equipment, their true colors really shine through with the weight selection. Here is a little insight in to the mind of the JGBII, “OK, here I am on the bench press machine again - it’s been a while. Last time I was here (3 years ago) I was able to easily press 200lbs., so let’s see what happens… grunt, scream, exhale… nope, let’s try 170lbs… grunt, scream, exhale… nope,” and so on. As you can see, being the JGBII is a very discouraging stage in the gym-goers life - it’s never easy finding out that you are a puss, but with a little perseverance and some protein, the JGBII can easily transform into the Hardcore likes of the “Screamer”, or the “Silent Professional”.

The biggest problem with the JGBII is they usually tend to succumb to Darwin’s law of gym failures. Once they find out that they aren’t even half the man they used to be, they usually go home, have a good cry, grab a box of Twinkies, and never return to the steel. They figure it is better to be fat, dumb, and happy and “think” they are a bad ass (without having ever to go out and prove it) than to be a super-sore, wimp for a while.

The JGBII can usually be spotted alone, at the gym, around the first of the year, on Mondays and sometimes late Sunday evening after a few too many backyard burgers. They are usually spotted wearing clothing that used to be cool and new, but has now gone by the way of the Thighmaster.

If you want to be a decent human, approach a JGBII with caution and extend the hand of friendship. A single friend at the gym is more often than not the difference between the JGBII turning into a regular, or becoming one of the gym dropout statistics. If you want to be like everyone else at the gym, say nothing to the JGBII and they will eventually either disappear, or become one of those people you see everyday at the gym, slingin’ iron with the best of ‘em.

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